Second to Cry Read online

  ‘Dad, what is it?’ Alex asked, filled with the same apprehension that Aiden was.

  ‘I need to talk to you boys about Justin.’

  That had been the morning when they learnt that their friend had died. That was the morning that Aiden vowed to do better in life. He had known not to let Justin go that night, but he’d been too drunk and too stupid to say anything.

  At the funeral Aiden couldn’t even look Justin’s distraught mother in the face, he felt too guilty over her son’s death.

  The three friends never spoke of that night but Aiden was certain that they each felt the same way, each carried the same burden of guilt.

  *

  ‘I said, you’re a good man and noble considering you’re a lawyer.’ Deena gave the compliment again when Aiden failed to respond.

  ‘You’re still not out of the woods with the paternity test,’ Aiden said, ignoring her words.

  ‘I’m not?’

  ‘No. I may well be willing to keep your secret but the next lawyer your husband hires may not be. And he will hire someone else; he’s determined to get answers.’

  ‘So what do you suggest?’ Deena looked at him with childlike fearfulness.

  ‘I’d ask how good you are at lying, but I already know you’re pretty talented at it,’ Aiden said.

  ‘You need to consider telling him the truth before it inevitably comes out.’

  ‘This is one time when the truth won’t set me free,’ Deena observed.

  Aiden tried to reply but couldn’t focus; his mind was still in the shed at the back of Alex Stephenson’s garden, remembering that awful moment when he heard that Justin had died. It had felt like someone had punched him in the stomach and he’d had the air knocked out of him.

  ‘I owe you so much,’ Deena shot him a guilt-filled look. ‘I was so rude to you, about her.’

  ‘Its fine,’ Aiden answered dismissively, wanting the conversation to be over, needing to be alone with his thoughts.

  ‘How did she take the news about Davis?’ Deena queried, her nails once more commencing a symphony of sharp taps upon the glass which was now empty.

  ‘She was upset.’

  ‘Yeah.’ Deena looked down shamefully.

  ‘She lost the baby of his that she was carrying,’ Aiden added. He didn’t know why he was telling Deena Fern such details; perhaps he just wanted her to feel as lousy as he currently did, to spread the feeling of shameful guilt across the table.

  ‘She did?’

  ‘She lost the baby after a particularly brutal attack from her husband where he kicked her numerous times in the abdomen.’ Aiden kept his voice clinical but saw the look of horror emerge in Deena’s eyes.

  ‘That’s…that’s awful,’ she stammered, her lip trembling.

  Aiden knew it was time to leave, he was losing his grip on his emotions and suddenly his own demons felt too close to the surface, too raw. He threw down some money on the table and bid Deena farewell.

  ‘Thank you, for everything!’ Deena called after him but Aiden carried on walking towards the door, determined to leave both her and the ghosts of his past behind.

  *

  Isla was waiting on her husband’s return. She paced furiously back and forth within her small kitchen, loathing the confined space and wishing she was back in her luxurious apartment in Chicago.

  With each step her anger deepened, growing into a simmering rage. She couldn’t stop imagining Aiden being in Chicago, leaving her and Meegan alone and at the mercy of the vindictive Buck Fern. He should have been at home protecting his family instead of resurrecting ghosts of the past.

  The sound of a car pulling in to the driveway made Isla momentarily cease pacing. She looked out through the window, past the gingham curtains and saw Aiden switching off the engine. Even from a distance she could see the pained look upon his face. He wasn’t a man eager to come home after a long day at the office, he was a man dreading opening the door to whatever lay in wait for him inside.

  Isla felt her anger subside to sadness as she watched him. His movements were slow and unwilling as he got out of the car, his shoulders slumped. Where was the man who would bound into their home, desperate to see her? Isla turned from the window and placed the hand which bore her wedding band up to her temple. She wondered when she had become the villain in the scenario and, more worryingly, how she had failed to notice and prevent it. Brandy was the heroine, held high upon her throne of perfection whilst Isla was the monstrous wife. She knew that their marriage couldn’t continue like this. They were descending to a place she had always feared, a place which was all too familiar. They were becoming her parents.

  Aiden opened the front door and gingerly stepped inside. He placed his briefcase down and immediately loosened his tie, desperate to shed the shackles of his suit. He glanced around and saw Isla with her back to him, busying herself with the kettle.

  ‘Do you want a coffee?’ she asked him, her tone surprisingly light.

  ‘Sure, yeah,’ Aiden was a little taken aback, having anticipated yet more fireworks over Brandy. ‘Thanks,’ he added.

  Looking round the kitchen he saw that it was just his wife in there.

  ‘Where’s Meegs?’ he asked.

  ‘She’s on a playdate,’ Isla explained.

  ‘She is?’ Aiden was shocked; he had no idea that his daughter even had friends to have playdates with.

  ‘Yeah, it was the strangest thing,’ Isla began, stirring boiling water in to the coffee mugs she had laid out, the air permeating with a pleasant oaky aroma as it mixed with the waiting granules.

  ‘Deena Fern came over, about an hour ago. Had her two little boys with her. She insisted on taking Meegan out with them all for ice cream and refused to take no for an answer.’

  ‘She did?’ Aiden felt frozen with shock.

  Isla shrugged dismissively.

  ‘I let Meegs go, I think it would be good for her to make some more friends locally. And for me. You were right about her.’

  ‘About who?’ Aiden wasn’t keeping up.

  ‘Deena. She is very glamorous. Maybe we could be friends. I suppose it depends if she stays in Avalon.’

  ‘Why wouldn’t she?’ Aiden walked into the living room as Isla followed with their fresh mugs of coffee. He gratefully accepted his and let his muscles relax into the soft fabric of the couch. He was still exhausted from travelling.

  ‘I figured she’d leave Avalon once everything came out about her little boy,’ Isla said the words casually, though she watched Aiden intently.

  ‘Mmm,’ Aiden gave a non-committal response before taking a sip from his coffee, he really needed the caffeine.

  ‘In fact, she seemed in awfully high spirits.’ Isla continued, keeping the same intense gaze upon her husband.

  ‘How so?’

  ‘She just kept gushing about what a good man you are and much she loves living in Avalon. She didn’t seem like a woman about to be embroiled in a paternity scandal.’ Isla raised her eyebrows.

  He sighed, knowing her pleasant demeanour had been too good to be true. He had been right to anticipate a stormy evening between them.

  ‘There isn’t going to be a scandal,’ Aiden admitted, bracing himself for Isla’s response.

  ‘How can that be?’ Isla countered, sounding overtly sweet and innocent. ‘I mean, the true father of her child is a deceased murder victim. Surely both her husband and the child deserve to know the truth.’

  ‘No, they don’t.’ Aiden answered curtly.

  ‘Yes, they do. If I were one of the parties involved I’d want to know the truth.’

  ‘No you wouldn’t.’

  ‘Yes I would.’ Isla countered.

  ‘You’re just being deliberately difficult.’

  ‘What did you tell Deena Fern?’ Isla demanded.

  ‘I told her I’d agree to keep her secret.’ Aiden was too tired to lie.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘To protect her son.’ Aiden began to regret having come home even mor
e. ‘It’s in her little boy’s best interest for his father to be identified as Samuel Fern.’

  ‘So you plan on lying?’ Isla snapped.

  ‘No,’ Aiden shook his head in despair. ‘Well, yes. I don’t know. I’m just doing what’s best for the boy.’

  ‘That’s not for you to decide.’

  ‘It’s not for you to decide either!’ Aiden retaliated, his nostrils flaring in anger. ‘The world is shades of grey, Isla, not black and white. I thought you of all people would understand that.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Isla demanded, narrowing her eyes.

  ‘It can mean whatever you want it to mean.’

  Aiden stood up, placing his half-drunk coffee on the side table.

  ‘I’m going to bed.’ He told his wife.

  ‘It’s only ten past six!’ Isla stated, gesturing towards the glass clock face on the far wall.

  ‘Well, I’m shattered and I’d rather be in bed than down here arguing with you.’ Aiden began to walk towards the stairs.

  ‘What’s the real reason you’re protecting Deena Fern?’ Isla asked from behind him. He turned to face her. She was standing in the centre of the lounge, her arms folded across her chest.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Aiden asked, feeling puzzled.

  ‘What’s the real reason you’re keeping the paternity of the little boy secret?’

  ‘I told you, for the boy.’

  ‘We both know it’s not for the boy. You’re protecting her, just like you always do. You’ll do anything to stop her precious name being more soiled than it already is!’

  ‘You’re being ridiculous.’ Aiden waved a dismissive hand at her and began to ascend the stairs.

  ‘Look at me and tell me I’m wrong!’ Isla said.

  Aiden let his head sink to his chest before turning to look at her. He was exhausted and was struggling to keep his eyes open. It had been a long day which had been proceeded by an emotional trip away. He needed to sleep. Sleep would grant him sanctuary from his thoughts and he needed that more than ever.

  He looked across at his wife but said nothing.

  ‘See! You can’t even tell me it’s not for her!’ Isla’s voice was now raised to a yell. She looked up at him with an accusing face, lips pulled into an angry line, her arms still folded defensively across her chest.

  ‘I’m tired, please let me go to bed and rest,’ Aiden implored her. ‘We can talk about this tomorrow.’

  ‘No, we are talking about it now!’ Isla was strident in her desire to hear the truth from him.

  Aiden looked up the stairs, thought of his bed and how wonderful it would feel to climb beneath the duvet and just be transported away from this current mess. His muscles throbbed and ached, begging him to rest.

  But he knew Isla wouldn’t let him rest until she was satisfied that their argument had been settled. Reluctantly he turned to face his wife.

  ‘In part I am protecting Brandy too,’ he admitted, too tired to conjure up the energy to form a convincing lie.

  ‘In part?’ Isla almost choked on the words.

  ‘Yes, in part,’ Aiden repeated. ‘Isla, what do you want me to say? The last thing Brandy needs is more scandal. She’s got a life in Chicago now, a life which news like this could jeopardize.’

  ‘So what?’

  ‘Have you ever seen the media hound someone? They can be utterly ruthless. She’s already been through all that once, why should she have to be put through it again just because of her husband’s mistakes?’

  ‘Why should you care?’ Isla demanded, now stood at the foot of the stairs. ‘It’s nothing to do with you!’ she added despairingly.

  Aiden fought the urge to cry out that it was everything to do with him. He was utterly involved in Brandy’s life. He had tried to fight it, but his instincts always led him back to her. They had become one another’s port in a storm.

  ‘It used to be you and me against the world,’ Isla said sadly, her voice suddenly soft. ‘We used to dream of all the places we would go, the people we would be. You said we were like hot and cold air, and that when we came together there would always be lightning.’

  ‘And there was,’ Aiden admitted and then, looking at his wife’s face, realized his folly. ‘And still is,’ he quickly added, but the damage had been done.

  ‘When did I stop being the woman at the top of your list?’ she asked earnestly, tears misting her eyes.

  ‘I don’t know,’ Aiden sighed. He walked down the few steps between them and embraced his wife. Isla fell gratefully against his shoulder, letting her tears fall and soak into the fabric of his shirt.

  ‘You’ve not even asked if there have been more menacing notes. It’s like you don’t even care about me!’

  ‘I do care.’ Aiden released her slightly so he could look into her eyes. ‘You were always so strong, nothing ever fazed you. I always admired that in you.’

  ‘You did?’ Isla sniffed tearfully.

  ‘You’re not afraid of anything. I figured you’d rise above the notes, like you rise above everything else.’

  ‘You should have been there for me,’ Isla noted.

  ‘I know.’

  They were silent for a moment, just holding one another.

  ‘If I get the chance to do the right thing, to help someone, I take it,’ Aiden whispered softly after the silence had eaten up most of the animosity which had hung heavy in the air between them.

  ‘Then you should start by helping your family,’ Isla said stoically. ‘Besides, as a lawyer, it’s not always your job to do the right thing.’

  Aiden knew she was partly right. She also had no idea that his constant desire to save others, to do the right thing, had come from Justin’s untimely death. She didn’t know about Justin, no one did as Aiden had never spoken about it since that fateful day in the shed when Alex’s father had delivered the devastating news.

  ‘Please understand that this paternity case, it’s nothing to do with you, with us. It’s just about doing the right thing.’

  Aiden kissed his wife’s forehead and smiled at him, her cheeks still moist from tears. Just beyond them, they heard a car pulling in to the driveway.

  ‘That will be Deena with Meegan,’ Isla said, wiping frantically at her eyes. ‘I can’t let her see me like this.’

  ‘Don’t worry, I’ll go,’ Aiden offered, his voice warm. ‘See, I get to save you sometimes,’ he joked.

  ‘Only from social awkwardness,’ Isla rolled her eyes.

  ‘Hey, a save is a save!’

  They parted and Aiden headed towards the kitchen just as the doorbell sounded to confirm Deena’s arrival. He felt satisfied that he had managed to resolve things with Isla though he still needed to find resolution with his own inner conflicts. He failed to notice how, behind his back, Isla’s expression darkened.

  She listened to him greet Deena at the door and ask Meegan about all the ice cream she had eaten. Isla listened and her hands formed fists at her side. For her, it was not yet over.

  It was two in the morning when Isla eventually went up to bed. She had been sat for the past few hours on the couch, pondering on what she wanted to do.

  Another note had arrived in her mailbox, more ominous in nature than all the ones which had proceeded it. It simply said:

  You’re Running Out of Time.

  Isla knew that she had to act before Buck Fern did.

  Deena had been all smiles when she had dropped Meegan off. The little toddler squealed with glee and ran around the legs of the adults, her energy levels soaring thanks to the intake of sugary ice cream.

  ‘Mr Connelly, how lovely to see you,’ she had remarked with genuine joy when Aiden had opened the door. Behind them, Isla gritted her teeth. It seemed that her husband was this wonderful, heroic man to everyone but her and she’d had enough, she wanted revenge.

  It was whilst Deena and Aiden exchanged pleasantries at the door that Isla began to form a plan in her mind and, just before the ex-Playmate left, Isla seized
the opportunity to initiate phase one of it.

  ‘Oh, Deena,’ Isla joined Aiden in the doorway, the tall, slender blonde pausing and turning back as she began to return to her black SUV.

  Deena gave Isla a quizzical glance and so she wasted no time in getting to the point. ‘Meegan had so much fun this evening,’ Isla gushed falsely, only thinking about how irresponsible it was to give a toddler ice cream so close to bed time. In any other circumstance she wouldn’t have allowed her daughter to go but it had served a purpose at the time, allowing her to be alone with Aiden when he returned from work.

  ‘Perhaps she could join the boys when they go to the park tomorrow?’ Isla suggested, her voice as sweet as the ice cream which was fuelling Meegan as she pretended to be a helicopter around the kitchen, her little arms outspread as she ran and made engine noises.

  ‘Yeah, sure,’ Deena didn’t hide the fact that she was a little put out by the suggestion, but as Isla had predicted the woman had glanced nervously at Aiden, not wanting to provoke any negative feeling in him.

  ‘Do you want to come too?’ Deena offered, playing nervously with her car keys.

  ‘No, I can’t, I’m getting my hair cut,’ Isla gave herself a fake alibi. ‘Would it be okay to take Meegan to the park? You’d really be doing me a favour,’ Isla smiled warmly at the other woman who returned the gesture but with more unease.

  ‘Yeah, that’s fine, no problem. I’ll come pick her up at ten.’

  ‘Sounds great.’ Isla felt almost giddy with the mastery of her plan. The first part of which had been a lot easier than she had anticipated.

  Both Isla and Aiden waved as Deena backed her SUV out of the driveway, behind them Meegan continued to spiral around frantically.

  ‘I didn’t know you were getting your hair done,’ Aiden said as they closed the door.

  ‘I wanted it to be a surprise but when I saw Deena, I figured Meegs had such a good time tonight and it’s always easier to get my hair done when she isn’t there. All she ever does is fuss and moan about how long it takes.’